Rev. David Holwick V Family Concerns #4
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
July 20, 2008
Hebrews 12:5-11
CORRECTING CORRUPTION
I. HOW BAD IS IT OUT THERE?
A. The Bible’s dark picture:
2 Timothy 3:1-3 --
“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.
People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money,
boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents,
ungrateful, unholy,
without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control,
brutal, not lovers of the good...”
Philippians 2:15 --
“... become blameless and pure, children of God without fault
in a crooked and depraved generation...”
Is it really as bad as this?
B. Modern history provides enough examples.
The Harris and Klebold families seemed pretty normal.
Neighbors said they were quiet families who celebrated Easter
with their neighbors, mowed their lawns, and sat on
bleachers on long summer nights watching Little League.
The Klebolds sent their kids to Lutheran catechism.
Yet their sons, Eric and Dylan, gathered weapons and bombs and
invaded their high school, killing or wounding 37 others
before taking their own lives.
What happened at Columbine has reverberated across America.
Back then everyone wondered, why didn’t the parents notice
something?
The dark music they listened to?
The violent computer games they spent hour upon hour playing?
Yet probably every teenager in this church has been exposed
to influences like this.
Can we avoid that tragic outcome?
Fortunately, teenage massacres are pretty rare.
But how many of our kids will end up will end up faithless,
enslaved to alcohol or drugs, or failures in relationships?
#31266
The Bible says parents can make a difference.
There are families in this church who have proved it.
I want to look at some principles that every family needs
to practice.
II. GIVE YOUR KIDS BOUNDARIES.
A. Teach them God’s moral standards.
1) Book of Proverbs begins with a father instructing his son.
a) The father gives bad examples, then urges his son to
follow good examples. We need to do this, too.
b) Their choices have consequences. Always.
2) Your kids won’t pick up morality out of thin air.
a) Instruct them in what you expect.
B. Enforce those standards.
1) In ages past, discipline was the big focus of childrearing.
a) The book of Hebrews assumes that if anyone who doesn’t
discipline their kids, it’s because they aren’t legit.
2) When most people think of discipline, one thing sticks in
the mind - punishment.
A number of years ago Bill Cosby produced some comedy albums
that focused on his childhood.
In one story, Bill and his brother Russell, whom he slept
with, goofed off in their room all night long.
As a climax, they used their bed as a trampoline, till it
broke with a loud bang.
There was dreadful silence - then the heavy footsteps
of their father.
Their bedroom door swung open and there stood their father,
with the hallway light reflecting off his gut.
In his hand he held the “Belt”.
The “Belt” was four feet long, three feet wide, and had
hooks on it to rip the meat off their bodies.
Different families have different weapons.
I had a wooden spoon which Rebecca put her name on.
Many families today don’t use any contact at all.
Is a Christian family required to spank?
#35421
3) Everyone knows the verse, “Spare the rod and...”
a) Did you know it is not in the Bible?
1> It’s actually attributed to a John Clark in 1639.
b) The Bible’s version is found in Proverbs 13:24 --
“He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves
him is careful to discipline him.”
c) There are even a few proverbs that are harsher than
this.
4) The real emphasis in the Bible is not punishment but
guidance.
a) Hebrews emphasizes the aspect of training and values.
b) It notes that parents have limitations - they do their
best, and they don’t have a lot of time. 12:10
C. Recognize their influences.
1) The internet, television and public schools are all huge
factors in their lives.
2) Our culture has conditioned them to be selfish and
materialistic.
3) To be honest, these things influence parents as well.
Tiffany Fraser is 26 years old and from Airmont, New York.
She told the press, “Only a crazy person would put their
child in an oven.”
She said this because her 7-year-old son accused her of
doing exactly that - for losing his cell phone.
Fraser is charged with assault and child endangerment.
She doesn’t know why her son said this.
*I* don’t know why a 7-year-old needs his own cell phone. [1]
4) Teach them to stand alone.
a) Peer pressure is powerful, but an inner moral compass
can be more powerful.
D. Give them a supportive environment.
1) Personal will power is not enough.
a) The chastity movement has discovered this.
b) Kids make pledges - then end up having sex.
2) Build a network around your kids.
a) In the GODFATHER movie, Michael Corleone falls in love
with a Sicilian girl.
He goes walking in the countryside with her - followed
by about 30 women.
Hanky-panky could have cost him his life.
b) Is this realistic today? Probably not.
1> But they need to know that others care, and are
watching them.
3) The friends they hang around with will have an impact.
a) This is why a church youth group is so important.
b) Try to see that most of their friends are believers
and living morally (as far as a parent can tell).
E. Temper the discipline with encouragement and praise.
1) Constant harping on them will only break their spirit.
2) Acknowledge what they do right.
III. GIVE THEM A FAITH OF THEIR OWN.
A. Their faith will start with your faith.
Woodrow Wilson, the 28th President of the United States and
also the only one to be from New Jersey, said in 1904:
“If you wish your children to be Christians you must really
take the trouble to be Christians yourselves.”
Rev. Ritch Grimes comments:
There is a common misconception about the duty of the church.
Pay attention here, because it is critical for the future of
our children and our church.
Christian education is not the job of the local church.
The local church is involved in Christian education, but the
primary place for Christian education is the home.
One day a week meeting at a church is not going to have as
much effect upon your kids’ understanding of God and
spiritual things as much as what is being taught the
other six days of the week in the home.
#31395
B. Engage them in discussions of what real faith is about.
1) A decision is just the beginning.
2) We want them to know Jesus themselves.
3) Do they turn to him for guidance and strength?
C. Keep praying for them.
IV. ENTRUST THEM TO GOD.
A. The Bible sees children as gifts from God.
1) He loans them to us.
2) Even with our limitations, we must do our best with them.
B. In the end, our kids will answer for themselves.
1) Ezekiel 18:20-21 says --
“The soul who sins is the one who will die.
The son will not share the guilt of the father, nor
will the father share the guilt of the son.
The righteousness of the righteous man will be credited
to him,
and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against
him.
“But if a wicked man turns away from all the sins he has
committed and keeps all my decrees and does what is just
and right, he will surely live; he will not die.”
a) Having Christian parents is not enough.
b) Having a preacher in your family line won’t get you
to heaven.
c) They must make their own commitment.
d) And, praise God, if they make that commitment and
wander away, God is willing to take them back.
2) As the years go by, they must take increasing charge of
their lives.
a) Give them your help as long as you can.
C. Give them back to God.
1) Ask God to overcome your own limitations as a parent.
2) Even when kids go wrong, trust that God can bring them back.
Rich Ellis grew up going to church, so he knew better.
But like most 16-year-olds he wanted to “discover” life.
He did the typical youth group stuff -- mission trips,
and lock-ins.
He made a decision for Christ at the age of 13, but when he
turned 16 and could drive himself, he didn’t go to youth
group or church as often.
Then Ellis joined a heavy-metal band as their drummer.
By the time he turned 17, the band was playing in clubs and
bars.
Rich experimented with alcohol and drugs, which were
abundant in that environment.
From that point on, he became a “special occasion” Christian
-- only going to church on Christmas and Easter.
A few years later, Rich’s grandparents died and his life
turned upside down.
His grandparents were the ones who had taken him to church.
He tried to forget the emptiness he felt after losing them.
At a New Year’s Eve party after a concert, he was especially
down.
“A song from a Christian heavy-metal band came on.” Ellis
remembered.
“A friend sang the lyrics and looked straight at me.
The words went straight through me.
‘Your bloodshot hippie ways are going to lead you down a
blackened path.’“
Rich went home and read a devotional, one of the last
things his grandmother had given him.
He knew it was time to “get right with God.”
Today he is still a drummer in a band.
But he also serves as a missionary and youth minister in
Poland.
Rich says, “God has a place for all of us in His plans.”
#12625
Make sure your children know what God’s place is for them.
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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:
[1] “This Is True” internet newsletter by Randy Cassingham, June 1, 2008.
#12625 “Where Bloodshot Hippie Ways Can Lead,” by Sue Sprenkle, Baptist
Press, http://www.baptistpress.org, July 26, 2007.
#35421 “Hooks To Rip The Meat Off Your Body,” by David Holwick, adapted
from a Bill Cosby album.
#31266 “Parenting The Columbine Kids,” by David Holwick, adapted from the
sermon “B.I.B.L.E. Truths For Parents” by Rev. David O. Dykes
of Discover Life Ministries; Tyler, Texas; May 23, 1999.
#31395 “Be Christians Yourselves,” adapted from Kerux sermon #16676 by
Rev. Ritch Grimes.
These and 30,000 others are part of the Kerux database that can be
downloaded, absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html
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